The second love

Who feels unfree in the partnership or not satisfied on all multidimensional levels, has usually made a promise to the partner not to come too close to another soul.

It weighs heavily, the ghastly sword between the feeling of shame because of a “cheating” on one side and the often deep pain of jealousy on the other side.

This sword is also a wall that we have built around our love.

Love is big and wide and wants to be allowed to develop.

If we allowed ourselves to live a second love together, many problems would be solved at once. Above all: we would never feel alone or badly cared for.

Can we transform jealousy into a pleasant feeling of “my partner is wanted” so that the joy of seeing each other again is magnified many times over?

Can we learn to trust while sharing because in doing so we have less anxiety, worry and lack in life than when we limit love to strict standards?

When both partners allow themselves the freedom of a second partnership, they can experience that the many benefits and new opportunities for growth can outweigh the risk of new relationship problems. As a rule, a balanced and inwardly fulfilled partner is more faithful and loving to us than one who is constantly hungry.

Emotional hunger can lead to relationship crises, or we may choose to “self-medicate” with junk food or other substances that are harmful to our health.

Whether the existing relationship with a second lived love can form this (actually more stable) relationship network and keep it alive with love, trust and good communication, is certainly for each soul its own challenge.

On loving, honest communication, I have written several blog articles and book chapters and also recorded a (German) podcast episode. We may also want to take a communication course to be able to talk more openly and honestly about our feelings without hurting the other soul in the process.

Above all, it takes: trust. And also a letting go of what was before.

What fears arise in us?

For me personally, when feeling into a relationship triad, memories of a lost great love of a long-standing relationship of two can arise. For many other souls, too, I’m sure, because almost all of us have had negative and stressful experiences with “missteps” from one side or the other and don’t want to feel that pain again.

Others feel other concerns, worries and fears. The question is: Do we want to go into our fears or into our deepest love? Which area in us do we want to strengthen and experience as constantly as possible?

In which direction of growth do we feel our inner core of everlasting bliss better? Because this always shining, blissful light, that is we! But we let it cover us all too gladly voluntarily, without thinking further about the sense or nonsense.

Can we also come into the personal responsibility and develop our love further and further and further?